Blah, Blah, Blah Awards – 2007

The Tommy Lee Jones Screentime Award (For amassing the most screentime of the year):
– Terence Howard (Pride, The Hunting Party, The Brave One, August Rush, Awake and The Perfect Holiday)

The Kevin Spacey Must Have the Best Agent Award (For appearing in the most top ten movies of the year):
– Josh Brolin (No Country For Old Men & Grindhouse) & Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Live Free Or Die Hard & Grindhouse)

The Marlon Wayans Award (for appearing in two or more of the worst movies of the same year.]:
– Eddie Izzard (Across The Universe & Romance & Cigarettes)

The Freddie Prinze, Jr. Award (For the best acting in the worst movie of the year – male):
– Bobby Cannavale (Romance & Cigarettes)

The Dina Meyer Award (For the best acting in the worst movie of the year – female):
– Rachel Leigh Cook (Nancy Drew)

The Anna Paquin Best Child Actor Award:
– Austin Williams (Michael Clayton)

The Nicholas Cage Uneven Performance Award (For the biggest gap in quality between two different performances in the same year):
– Peter Fonda (3:10 To Yuma & Ghost Rider)

The Peter Sellers Multiple Role Award:
– Paul Dano (There Will Be Blood)

The Sean Connery Best Cameo Award:
– Vanessa Redgrave (Atonement)

The Casey Affleck Worst Cameo Award:
– Jonah Hill (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story)

The Alfred Hitchcock In Front of the Camera Award (For the least intrusive appearance by a movie’s own director(s)):
– David Wain (The Ten)

The Quentin Tarantino In Front of the Camera Award [For most intrusive – not to mention annoying – appearance by a movie’s own director(s)]:
– Quentin Tarantino (Grindhouse)

The Drew Barrymore All Grown Up Award:
– Scout Taylor Compton (Halloween)

The Martin Scorsese Best Use of a Song Award:
– John Carney for “Broken Hearted Hoover Fixer Sucker Guy” (Once)

The Andy Garcia Best Shot Award:
– Nicolas Cage’s nightstick throw (Next)

The John Woo Best Shootout Award:
– Peter Berg (The Kingdom)

The The French Connection Best Car Chase Award:
We Own The Night

The They Live Best Non-Martial Arts Fight Award:
– Jennifer Garner and (eventually) Jason Bateman vs. Sala Baker (The Kingdom)

The Cast of Nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark Award (For worst performance of (an) actor(s) in scenes with special effects):
– (Some of) The cast of The Mist dodging acidic interdimensional spider webs (which by the way, don’t even make any sense) (The Mist)

The Talking Pig Award (For the two movies most alike released in the same year):
The Brave One & Death Sentence

The Mulholland Falls Award (For movie that failed most miserably at being as shocking as it hoped to be):
The Mist

The Mulholland Falls Syndrome Award (For the biggest disappointment from the most promising ensemble cast):
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

The Tony Randall Award (For best portrayal of oneself):
– Lisa Joyner (Next)

The Godfather Best Sequel Award:
Live Free Or Die Hard

The Jaws Worst Sequel Award:
Pirates Of The Caribbean At World’s End

The The Man Who Knew Too Much Best Remake Award:
3:10 To Yuma

The Breathless Worst Remake Award:
I Think I Love My Wife

The Kevin Costner Worst Accent Award:
– Andy Garcia (Smokin’ Aces)

The Meryl Streep Award for Best Accent (Female):
– Jeneane Garafalo (Ratatouille)

The Jon Voight Award for Best Accent (Male):
– Samuel L. Jackson (Resurrecting The Champ)

The Jon Voight Best Impression Award:
– Will Smith of Eddie Murphy as Donkey in Shrek (I Am Legend)

The Worst Impression Award:
– John Travolta of Divine as Edna Turnblad (Hairspray)

The Gary Oldman Chameleon Award (for the most unrecognizable performance by an otherwise recognizable personality):
– Dash Mihok (I Am Legend)

The Hamlet Best Production Within A Production Award:
– “Pop Goes My Heart” video (Music & Lyrics)

The “I’m Not The Bad Guy” Award (for the line so bad, it just had to be repeated):
– “I am the Queen Mother!” courtesy of Ashley Judd (Bug)

The Rosemary’s Baby Creepiest Moment Award:
– The revelation of the living situation at the abandoned Fillmore East (August Rush)

The Citizen Kane Unseen Ending Award:
Atonement

The Passenger 57 Award (for the plot most thoroughly ruined by its trailer):
Talk To Me

The Nightwatch Award (for the most heavily promoted movie never to grace us with its presence in a theater):
Home Of The Brave

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One response to this post.

  1. Cinemaniac! 🙂

    Reply

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