Blah, Blah, Blah Awards – 2010

The Tommy Lee Jones Screentime Award (For amassing the most screentime of the year):
–    Liam Neeson (Chloe, After.Life, Clash Of The Titans, The A-Team, The Wildest Dream, The Next Three Days, The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader)

The Kevin Spacey Must Have the Best Agent Award (For appearing in the most top ten movies of the year):
–    Christopher Mintz-Plasse (How To Train Your Dragon & Kick-Ass)

The Marlon Wayans Award (for appearing in two or more of the worst movies of the same year]:
–    Christina Applegate (Cats & Dogs: The Revenge Of Kitty Galore & Going The Distance)

The Freddie Prinze, Jr. Award (For the best acting in the worst movie of the year – male):
–    Greg Kinnear (The Last Song)

The Dina Meyer Award (For the best acting in the worst movie of the year – female):
–    Zena Grey (My Soul To Take)

The Anna Paquin Best Child Actor Award:
–    Joey King (Ramona and Beezus)

The Nicolas Cage Uneven Performance Award (For the biggest gap in quality between two different performances in the same year):
–    Gerard Butler (How To Train Your Dragon & The Bounty Hunter)

The Peter Sellers Multiple Role Award:
–    Armie Hammer (The Social Network)

The Sean Connery Best Cameo Award:
–    Sugar Ray Leonard (The Fighter)

The Casey Affleck Worst Cameo Award:
–    John Lithgow (Leap Year)

The Alfred Hitchcock In Front of the Camera Award (For the least intrusive appearance by a movie’s own director(s)):
–    Todd Phillips (Due Date)

The Quentin Tarantino In Front of the Camera Award [For most intrusive – not to mention annoying – appearance by a movie’s own director(s)]:
–    Daryl Wein (Breaking Upwards)

The Drew Barrymore All Grown Up Award:
–    Joseph Mazzello (The Social Network)

The Martin Scorsese Best Use of a Song Award:
–    Lisa Cholodenko (“All I Want” by Annette Benning in The Kids Are All Right)

The Andy Garcia Best Shot Award:
–    Johnny Knoxville – golf ball squash (Jackass 3D)

The John Woo Best Shootout Award:
–    David Yates (Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1)

The French Connection Best Car Chase Award:
–    The Town

The They Live Best Non-Martial Arts Fight Award:
–    Kick-Ass (Kick-Ass vs. thugs)

The Die Hard 2 Icicle Award (for best use of an otherwise benevolent object as a weapon):
–    zip tie (Brooklyn’s Finest)

The Cast of Nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark Award (For worst performance of (an) actor(s) in scenes with special effects):
–    Eric Balfour (Skyline)

The Talking Pig Award (For the two movies most alike released in the same year):
–    The Losers and The A-Team

The Mulholland Falls Award (For movie that failed most miserably at being as shocking as it hoped to be):
–    Get Low

The Mulholland Falls Syndrome Award (For the biggest disappointment from the most promising ensemble cast):
–    The Losers

The Tony Randall Award (For best portrayal of oneself):
–    Lars Ulrich (Get Him To The Greek)

The Godfather Best Sequel Award:
–    Toy Story 3

The Jaws Worst Sequel Award:
–    Sex And The City 2

The The Man Who Knew Too Much Best Remake Award:
–    Let Me In

The  Breathless Worst Remake Award:
–    A Nightmare On Elm Street

The Kevin Costner Worst Accent Award:
–    Cory Fernandez (Cop Out)

The Meryl Streep Award for Best Accent (Female):
–    Jacinda Barrett (Middle Men)

The Jon Voight Award for Best Accent (Male):
–    Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Faster)

The Jon Voight Best Impression Award:
–     Unidentified Troll 2 Fan of Connie McFarland as Holly in Troll 2 (Best Worst Movie)

The Worst Impression Award:
–    Adam G. Savani of Elvis Presley (Step Up 3D)

The Lon Chaney Chameleon Award (for the most unrecognizable performance by an otherwise recognizable personality):
–    Jason Isaacs (Green Zone)

The Hamlet Best Production Within A Production Award:
–    Swan Lake (Black Swan)

The “I’m Not The Bad Guy” Award (for the line so bad, it just had to be repeated):
–    “You lied to me.” (You Again)

The Rosemary’s Baby Creepiest Moment Award:
–    ceilings (Biutiful)

The Citizen Kane Unseen Ending Award:
–    Repo Men

The Passenger 57 Award (for the plot most thoroughly ruined by its trailer):
–    The King’s Speech

The Nightwatch Award (for the most heavily promoted movie never to grace us with its presence in a theater):
–    Client 9: The Rise And Fall Of Elliot Spitzer

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Jordy on March 1, 2011 at 10:23 am

    I feel like the Passenger 57 award should have probably gone to Letters to Juliet. But since it didn’t, I feel like a new award should be created for next year called The Gael García Bernal Award for Most Nonsense Sounds Made.

    Reply

    • Crap. That’s absolutely true. I didn’t even have it on my list of candidates. The King’s Speech is more plot most thoroughly ruined by its plot. Or plot most thoroughly ruined by the fact that the English won the war and how could they possibly do that with a King that stutters?

      And I would name any number of awards after Gael García Bernal’s performance in Letters To Juliet if I thought there would ever be anything like it again.

      Reply

      • Posted by Jordy on March 1, 2011 at 11:11 pm

        I’m hoping he started a trend of actors making guttural noises instead of saying the words scripted for them.

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