Blah Blah Blah Awards – 2012

For nominations and now explanations, see this previous post.

The Tommy Lee Jones Screentime Award (For amassing the most screentime of the year):

– Channing Tatum (Haywire, The Vow, 10 Years, 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike)

The Kevin Spacey Must Have the Best Agent Award (For appearing in two or more of the best movies of the same year):

– Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Lincoln and Looper)

The Marlon Wayans Award (For appearing in two or more of the worst movies of the same year):

– Christopher Lloyd (Piranha DD and Oogieloves In the BIG Balloon Adventure)

The Freddie Prinze, Jr. Award (For the best acting in the worst movie of the year – male):

– Russell Crowe (The Man With The Iron Fists)

The Dina Meyer Award (For the best acting in the worst movie of the year – female):

– Malin Ackerman (Rock Of Ages)

The Anna Paquin Best Child Actor Award:

– Quvenzhané Wallis (Beasts Of The Southern Wild)

The Nicolas Cage Uneven Performance Award (For the biggest gap in quality between two different performances in the same year):

– Michael B. Jordan (Chronicle & Red Tails)

The Peter Sellers Multiple Role Award:

– Denis Lavant (Holy Motors)

The Sean Connery Best Cameo Award:

– James Badge Dale (Flight)

The Casey Affleck Worst Cameo Award:

– Chris Pine (Celeste And Jesse Forever)

The Alfred Hitchcock In Front of the Camera Award [For the least intrusive appearance by a movie’s own director(s)]:

– Rich Moore (Wreck-It Ralph)

The Quentin Tarantino In Front of the Camera Award [For most intrusive – not to mention annoying – appearance by a movie’s own director(s)]:

– Spike “HNIC” Lee (Red Hook Summer)

The Drew Barrymore All Grown Up Award:

– Kristy Wu (End Of Watch)

The Martin Scorsese Best Use of a Song Award:

– Zal Batmanglij for “Dreams” by Brit Marling (Sound Of My Voice)

The Andy Garcia Best Shot Award:

– Pierre Gruno – Through the door/through the neck (The Raid ~ Redemption)

The John Woo Best Shootout Award:

– Gareth Evans (The Raid ~ Redemption)

The William Friedkin Best Car Chase Award:

– Christopher McQuarrie (Jack Reacher)

The They Live Best Non-Martial Arts Fight Award:

– Doug Glatt vs. Ross Rhea (Goon)

The Die Hard 2 (Icicle) Award (For best use of an otherwise benevolent object as a weapon):

– Killer Joe (pumpkin pie filling)

The Cast of Nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark Award (For worst performance of (an) actor(s) in scenes with special effects):

– Kristen Stewart (Breaking Dawn Part 2)

The Talking Pig Award (For the two movies most alike released in the same year):

Mirror, Mirror and Snow White & The Huntsman

The Mulholland Falls Award (For movie that failed most miserably at being as shocking as it hoped to be):


The Mulholland Falls Syndrome Award (For the biggest disappointment from the most promising ensemble cast):


The Cecil B. DeMille Award (For best portrayal of oneself):

– Kay Epperson (Bernie)

The Godfather Best Sequel Award:

The Avengers

The Jaws Worst Sequel Award:

Ice Age: Continental Drift

The The Man Who Knew Too Much Best Remake Award:


The Breathless Worst Remake Award:

Total Recall

The Kevin Costner Worst Accent Award:

– Elizabeth Banks and Sam Worthington (Man On A Ledge)

The Meryl Streep Award for Best Accent (Female):

– Megalyn Echikonwoke (Damsels In Distress)

The Jon Voight Award for Best Accent (Male):

– Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

The Jon Voight Best Impression Award:

– Josh Brolin of Tommy Lee Jones as Agent K (Men In Black 3)

The Worst Impression Award:

– Anthony Hopkins of Alfred Hitchcock (Hitchcock)

The Gary Oldman Chameleon Award (For the most unrecognizable performance by an otherwise recognizable personality):

– Michael Wincott (Hitchcock)

The Hamlet Best Production Within A Production Award:

– Fix-It Felix Jr. (Wreck-It Ralph)

The “I’m Not The Bad Guy” Award (For the line so bad, it just had to be repeated):

– “We fight for freedom!” (Last Ounce Of Courage)

The 1st Annual This Is 40 Award (For supporting cast member(s) most deserving of a sort-of sequel):

– Joey and Angie (Man On A Ledge)

The Rosemary’s Baby Creepiest Moment Award:

– Baby Renesme (Breaking Dawn Part 2)

The Citizen Kane Award (For the least foreseeable ending):

Breaking Dawn Part 2

The Passenger 57 Award (For the plot most thoroughly ruined by its trailer):


The Nightwatch Award (For the most heavily promoted movie never to grace us with its presence in a theater):

G.I. Joe: Retaliation


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